/** 
 * Quote of the Day : JavaScript port
 * by Mark Woodman (markwoodman.com)
 * 
 * Note that this is a PG subset of normal QOTD offerings.
 * Conditions of use:  Just ask mark@markwoodman.com
 */
 
Qotd = new Array();
Qotd.random = function()
{
 var index = Math.round(Math.random()*(Qotd.length-1));
 return Qotd[index];
}

var i=0;
Qotd[i++] = "\"[podcasting:] imagine slashdot meets wayne's world\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Check out my javascript library for displaying html elements on a web page. No longer do you have to write <h1> title <h1>. Now you can write <script>forElement('H1',render(titleElement) upon Release++; forEach.element);</script>\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The command-line is a perfectly intuitive user-interface... as long as you already know what you want to do\" -- Dan Lyke\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The difference with Microsoft is that they don't need business partners, so their dopey ideas get no backpressure before they're foisted on the public at large.\" -- td\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"and I do agree that the C++ type system looks like it's the designed by an S&M dominatrix\" -- loke\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If someone says they have never made a mistake, that means they're either God, or they're lying. Both are pretty scary.\" -- wmoran\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"programmer types tend to either have wry and sophisticated senses of humor, or else intolerably horrible senses of humor. its either achewood or diesel sweeties.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I'm using Design Patterns. In particular, the I Love Everything Especially Ruby and YOU pattern! :D\" -- Oleg Yoytmarr\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"With the second line of code, you already have a legacy\" -- Kent Beck\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Enterprise software is software that gets sold to a so-called enterprise. If you know English well, you might think an 'enterprise' is something brave, noble, and dangerous, like starting a small business, but in this case, \"enterprise\" is used to mean the opposite: it means a large, risk-averse company, whose executives use the term to flatter themselves by pretending that they're engaged in something brave, noble, and dangerous.\" -- Kragen Sitaker\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"not knowing how to use the right tool is not a good reason to use the wrong tool\" -- mikeash\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I think you might agree that religion is one part inheritance and one part emotional problems.\" -- Roast Beef Kazenzaki\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"funny, I normally place 'lack of tentacles' high on my list of priorities when choosing financial instruments\" -- mikeash\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The Good Life Coop introduced us to a wonderful concept for communication: Desperanto. Desperanto is the language you speak in foreign countries after your high school and college language courses have faded into phrases like 'Ou est la plume de ma tante?' and the ability to remember the Spanish word for spoon. The Desperanto theory is that any combination of Romance languages, when spoken in earnest and with a smile, will be understood by people around the Mediterranean. Amazingly it works well, even better than speaking English slowly and loud.\" -- Grand Rapper E/D\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"awacs: you need to stop thinking in those terms ('I have no clue', 'I don't get it', etc.) as it impedes you from generating ideas about what might be causing the behavior your observe.\" -- PerlJam\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"cnn says that the pope got his last rites i mean..Im not religious.. but I would party with him\" -- human39\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"procrastination is the rock solid foundation underlying my development process\" -- PantherMachina\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"why do people argue about the GPL? that's like arguing about extended warranties\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"markd2: ChumKrobber uses bindings rzolf: KROB FARMER! markd2: KLAM HAXOR rzolf: HAM STACKER! markd2: SLAM SNACKER rzolf: CLAM RANCHER! must....stop markd2: SHAZZAM BLANCHER rzolf: woah blanched shazzams would be pretty good right now. blanched in a white wine sauce\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"major advances in technology all but destory the society that spawns them.\" -- ibillings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"y'know something, I just realized I'm not too against the recent conservitive agenda to make all sex-ed in schools abstinence-only. Because, then these kids are going to end up having kids early, and often so by the time I need to retire, the boom in population will pay for my social security checks.\" -- ibillings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the amount of advance planning about nitpicky details is inversely proportional to the chance of finishing the project\" -- mikeash\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I am the sun... the moon... the stars.... I am the celestial opposite of the Chicken McNugget.\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards; for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup!\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.\" -- Brian W. Kernighan\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the ease with which a language allows you to solve easy problems is not interesting\" -- mikeash\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If people had fixed or resolved a bug for every post they'd made in this thread, we'd have over a hundred fewer open bugs in our bug database ...\" -- Dhogaza\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"My name is Brak! That's Hawaiian for FISH FOOD!\" -- Brak\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the level of discourse on the internet has now reached a level where i cannot tell the difference between trolls pretending to be dumb and actual dumb people\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i mean, it is too bad that islam is the religion of stupidity and terror , because they have some cool features. like stylin' arabic script\" -- ConsolidatedMan\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If you like Domo-kun. He will always be your Domo. For Enjoying! But, sometimes, if you love Domo too much. You will Die.\" -- NippoRzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"one thing about mysql is that all of the standard command line things are beyond unintuitive. it is evidence for a theory of mass psychology i am developing. by making easy and necessary tasks difficult to figure out, it makes stupid people think they've accomplished a lot. and since there are many more stupid people, it really takes off. because they are all jazzed. 'woah i figured out how to add a user' 'now time to add the 2 tables i am using\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the key is to embrace all the insanity of perl, and it will make you a better person.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Yes, I do love women but you can/should only go so far when you've made this big promise to one woman in front of God and everybody.\" -- kaiser szhuay\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"human39, cheer up. Look at it this way: in thirty years you're most likely going to be dead anyway.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"no, well. <g> LOL. 100% height.... might not be so possible. maybe java script!\" -- Oleg Yoytmarr\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It's okay to be dumb, Little Nephew. The world will always need people who buy magazines about car stereos\" -- Teodore\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"When teaching people how to program, you want to do it in the simplest language possible. BASIC fits. (Java doesn't, which is why an Intro. to Programming taught in Java is the end of the world).\" -- Dossy\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"it's just easier for one to ignore the truth sometimes\" -- gonffen\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Religion is that internal mechanism whose function is to fill in the gaps between what is easily proved and what is easily believed.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"What makes you so self-centered as to think there is a reason for your existence? Why, you ask? Why not? There is no 'why' because 'why' is a infant's question. Most children outgrow that around 7 years old, don't you think it's about time you did so as well?\" -- Kreme\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The Mac Plus is a lot lighter to carry around than an SGI Display, plus it makes a happy beeping sound.\" -- billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"most CS guys have no clue how boring they are -- they can't read the body language of the audience and they have an almost-autistic fascination with boring crap.\" -- billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"ObjC++ also allows you to create an incredible menagerie of abominations such as the world has never seen\" -- mikeash\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Yep. The US attitude to free speech is like their attitude to democracy, food and football. They are big fans, but they just don't get it.\" -- David Cake\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"In fact, I believe that if a student had a very solid, secular science training, and a neutral religious history education we'd be a little better off all around... instead there are jackasses who want to mix the two, or ban one or the other.\" -- Roger Howard\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"can anybody give me java code and explanation about rainforest algorithm related to decision tree on machine learning. Thanks Before\" -- DBMaster\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I am convinced that the only purpose IRC help channels serve is to provide a sheltered environment for those freaks of nature too socially, physically or emotionally warped to endure face to face human contact\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"legal music on the internet is like a CD bin at a turnpike gas station.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"most people who do anything are idiots because most people are idiots\" -- duncanh\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"...kibbles don't sniffle.\" -- jebuspwns\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the summer is the worst time to go nipple hub shopping\" -- shank\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"the worst software atrocities tend to happen when people use a tool for what its not good for\" -- arwyn\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"for instance, many programmer. they do not like the SQL. why SQL when an object is the way to program? IF you like the style involving tight OO, try wang-murmur? ! lol.\" -- Oleg Yoytmarr\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I never noticed til now that meme is pronounced just like the French say mime, and is nearly as annoying in concept.\" -- grand Rapper E.D.\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Yah, ZODB without a class is not programming at all. And malicious things do happen intentionally. IF you want programs tight, perhaps one couldn't be using Zope, no? Well cheers, tomorrow's the time for when we deliver the pastries. ;-)\" -- Oleg Yoytmarr\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If you look at all of the products of Gen X, they really only have one thing in common: a deep loathing for the establishment gently wrapped in sardonic wit.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It's a sad sad day when the best and brightest of America lack the cognitive ability to distinguish cynisicm and conservatism.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"there's nothing wrong with believing in something bigger than yourself, just don't ever trust someone that NEEDS to.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Build a man a fire and he is warm for a night, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of life.\" -- Terry Pratchet\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"How many cultures have persisted through the millenia by just kicking back, relaxing and waiting out each new over-acheiving empire? Hmmm... The Spanish survived the Romans, the Ottomans, the Germans, and will probably survive the Americans...\" -- ebradway\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"'Peace.' That brief but glorious time where everyone stops to reload.\" -- Donaldson\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Nothing's going to get better until something breaks the illusion that Microsoft and Dell have all the good ideas. The idea that Windows is 'good enough' is insanity.\" -- Scott Stevenson\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"This idea of killing the unbelievers... I just fundamentally have trouble with the idea of a creator of all existence making humans, and then asking them to go kill each other. Why make them in the first place? Can any sane person imagine having children, and telling them to fight each other to the death?\" -- Scott Stevenson\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I don't mind people making mistakes, I just wish they'd make new ones.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It's rare to remember a task completed without mishap, therefore only when one makes mistakes does one learn anything.\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"My experience with CSS has been thus: It's a really nifty tool when it works, and it's the biggest, most painful wart on the bum when it doesn't.\" -- Shawn\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Another reason to not wear ties: they not only constrict your carotids, they can stimulate vagal nerve response. Your heart rate will bottom out and could lead to cardiac arrest. What a small, sad way to die.\" -- Susan\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"inside jokes amongst friends serve as a sort of hash table mechanism for memories.\" -- zman\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I'm not suggesting radical change, but I think more intuitive suggestions for performance of even older music could be accomplished by the addition of color, texture and other cues to printed parts. I think I would know what to do if a bassoon part suggested that I play it brown and furry....\" -- Jim Katz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"No matter how good we are, we need to be aware. Aware of our goals. Aware of our tools. Aware of our environment. And most important, aware of our habits and processes.\" -- Steve Litt\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"When faced with an antogonist who spouts only close minded nonsense, your only possible utterance can ever be, 'Oh, you're one of them. Nevermind.'\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Why is it that it seems the only people promoting Microsoft seem to be making money with Microsoft?\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The omniscient have no perspective\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Many computers and computer applications are just so bad they often leave those who learn them with permanent emotional scars.\" -- David Cake\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the NBA, the NFL, the NHL, the ADSL, the ICANN, the NFR, the NPR, the KKK, the KGB.... who cares!? It's a all big conspiracy!!! DIE! DIE! DIE!\" -- Jesus Diaz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i dream of a nation where all of the trailer parks are replaced with beautiful landscapes scattered with yurts\" -- BethLynn\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"there's no i in yurt, but there's a place for you\" -- BethLynn\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"This just gives credence to my thought that for any process W or device X, you'll find person Y who never had a problem with it and person Z who says it causes cancer.\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Java cleverly blends the complexity of C++ with the execution speed of Smalltalk and the elegance of DOS.\" -- tblanchard\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Three words that do not belong together - fuzzy chunky eggnog\" -- BurpingCheetah\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I often think the dominant life form in the US is the automobile, and we humans are merely its reproductive organs.\" -- Joe Delta\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"running a service - any service - on the internet is like putting a child with a hammer in a room full of coloured eggs and telling them not to break any.\" -- Matthew Hunt\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"keep those SQUIRRELS away from my POCKET FISHERMAN!\" -- Billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Evil people live happier lives, they make more money, and they get all the good tax breaks\" -- Jeff Vogel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It was nature that invented velcro, some guy just ported it to plastic\" -- Billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If it weren't such a stupid idea, I'd totally change my name to Moby Stannard right now.\" -- ESD\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Man. Things are so clear after 9 mountain dews and being up for 24 hours. Not as good as the time I stayed up 7 days straight though. That was a religious experiance man. God looks like Max Headroom, man.\" -- Turlock\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Theoretically, nuclear power could be a big step towards solving our power issues, but the same can be said of multi-tier web architectures that are written in strongly typed object oriented languages with excellent XML integration. They both sound like great ideas, but no one's been able to implement them without screwing the pooch once or twice.\" -- Talli Somekh\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If you wonder why there are no more miracles as in the Biblical days, it's because we lock our prophets up in mental hospitals.\" -- Michael David Crawford\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"One out of three people is mentally ill. Ask two friends how they're doing. If they say they're OK, then you're it.\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Hitting age 50 and realizing that you've never pursued your dreams is one of the great horrors of the human condition. And totally inexcusable. Not following your passions is the greatest sin you can commit, it means surrendering the fire of your ambitions to the fears of other people. It's psychological treason.\" -- jms\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Writing is speaking on the page, nothing more, nothing less; it's saying precisely what you mean to say, as clearly as possible. \" -- jms\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The End Time has begun. The world is being overrun by retards. We've made everything so safe and childproof we've upset the natural selection process. Stupid people arent dying as much. And now. Now we cannot go back. Too many of the stupid people are intergrated into our ruling class. The rich. The famous. We are doomed. But do not worry. We still have time.\" --turlock\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"now, if you start screwing around with signal amplifiers, I wouldn't suggest pointing them at your crotch.\" -- billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I keep forgetting that 'cow' is gender specific\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"apathy! apathy is our cry A-P-aaa forget it.\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I guess in Spanish, 'OOP' is 'POO'\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"So why does volunteering work? Because only successful people tend to volunteer. Unsuccessful people don't volunteer -- they complain instead.\" -- Steve Pavlina\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I think pineapple will be the master and the other fruit will be the slave, is that ok?\" -- BlueKanary\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"and i do not see any invisible text.\" -- davb\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If that job was left to me, it would only be a matter of time before my daughter was dirty at the same time as the dishwasher was empty, and I would get a great idea for how to save a little time.\" -- Jeff Vogel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"TCL made me want to kill other people. Java, however, makes me want to kill myself. There is a profound psychology PhD thesis in the making.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"But with kids around, you get to fill the house with chocolate and hard-boiled eggs! I love hard-boiled eggs! Now that we have Cordelia, I may actually start paying attention to Easter again! Now refresh my memory. That's the day the holy rabbit got nailed to a cross, right? Those wacky Romans.\" -- Jeff Vogel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Thus far, we have assumed that everything works perfectly; our programs compile and run just as we imagined. Now let's consider reality.\" -- Edward Angel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"However, you will find that your inability to solve triangles will be your downfall!\" -- the Gremlin of Carmorra\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I didn't want to try it at first, but they forced me. \"Do this or else!\" This was worse than peer pressure. They had power over me. They told me where to sit, when to eat and even when I permitted to go to the bathroom. I was helpless. My parents even approved of their actions, and now I fear I'm addicted. I just can't stop reading. D*mn my second grade teachers!\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"well, we're talking about java here. where you can have a system with 1000x the codebase of DOOM, which implements 1/10th the functionality of the arsdigita remindme service.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The Colossal Man had a Colossal tummy ache from all that cafeteria food. At the theater, he took a Colossal dump. He called it Die Another Day.\" -- Filthy Critic\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It can't be an insult if it's accurate\" -- redtoade\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I like to use it to post my pictures,\" the Prince of Darkness said, pulling up his home page on his PowerBook. \"See, here's me during the Black Plague. Here's me during the Spanish Inquisition. Here's me in the Killing Fields in Cambodia. Here's me at the Microsoft verdict.\" -- John Moltz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I'm sure you're probably interested in hearing our analysis of the new laptops that were announced yesterday, but it's hard to concentrate on that when there's a naked energy being running around yelling 'Wheeeeeeeeee! Ha-ha! Whoooo-hooooo!'\" -- John Moltz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Unlike the majority of the Unix peanut gallery, I consider a case-insensitive, case-preserving file system a screaming feature, not a bug. If you have two distinct files which differ only in case, you're a pinhead and deserve to lose.\" -- jwz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.\" -- Matt Cartmill\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"my theory is that laptops are partially powered by human souls.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"that seems impossible, or at least very hard, to do the following: 1. anything\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I love it! Millions of dollars of R&D and countless hours of hard work were put in by great minds so we can have technology such as the internet. All of this so we can watch Viking kittens singing Led Zep.\" -- thirdrail\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i am the CODE TURKEY\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The best thing about having a baby is that you can pinch her cute, soft, chubby cheeks freely and without fear of reprisal. When I pinch Cordelia's cheeks and say \"Oooooh! OOOOOHHHH!!! Chubbbbby cheeeeeeeks! CHUBBBBBBY CHEEEEEEEEKS!\", she just looks sad. When I try to do the same thing to my wife, she sprains my wrist.\" -- Jeff Vogel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"It is my firm belief that there is no belief so asinine, no course of action so bizarre, that it can not have a half dozen web sites strongly devoted to its practice. If their maintainers ever learned to check their spelling, we might be in real trouble.\" -- Jeff Vogel\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"[C++] templates can be really sweet - unfortunately WRITING THEM sucks dog-nuts.\" -- PoppaVic\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"s/applications/solutions/ if you are a manager.\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe\" -- marcus cole\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"This manual page is still confusing.\" -- man sigvec(2) / BSD\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"Well, the fun thing of not having kids for sale is that it gives you the opportunity to _make_ them.\" -- Jesus (Blanco)\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Anyway kids, have fun, play nicely, be good. And remember - if it ain't broke, hit it again.\" -- Foon\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"vanity is such an underexploited web market segment as compared to, say, lust or avarice.\" -- Steve O\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"hey, cool, if you fake your own death student loans are forgiven\" -- Denshi\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"As a living personification of the American dream, She (martha stewart) strides over the sterile, frozen landscape like some Episcopalian AT-AT walker, shooting laser beams at lesser mortals.\" -- Tristan Trout\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"there is a place in hell for anyone trying to talk religion while others program.\" -- PoppaVic\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"after working on apache2, aolserver is stunning in its clarity\" -- Denshi\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Anytime. Start an S Corporation and get QuickBooks Pro are your first two steps. And uniforms. Have someone who's worked on B5 design some uniforms. With prosthetics. That will 'set you apart' in the marketspace.\" -- Shawn, on Consulting\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Saying Linux is more secure than Windows is like saying that an Opossum is a cleaner animal than a dung beetle\" -- Jim Quick\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"That's almost clever. But it misses clever and hits g*****n stupid dead centre\" -- Casilero\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"yeah. refillmyglass. he's a big greaser. he hammed the loafgrease into shapes.app.\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"This movie has the magical ability to make no sense and yet still be entirely predictable.\" -- The Filthy Critic, on \"Blade II\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i have many thoughts. some of them involve dragons and midgets, but mostly they're about spiderman and how he stole my act\" -- Talli\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Another difference [between journailsts and bloggers] is that bloggers can't afford to be drunk off their butts five evenings per week, the blog tends to suffer.\" -- anser\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"markd2, you've gotten decidely less weird since you had your antlers removed\" -- talilee\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"That's how I decided to start Crazy Apple Rumors Site. Actually, it's a much longer story than that. I'm leaving out the whole car chase, the battle with the ninja warriors and the spiritual journey that culminated in meeting the Entity for the first time at the Waffle House in Lancaster, PA.\" -- John Moltz\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the special olympics... ...even if you win, you're still a retard! \" -- YelM3\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"But most importantly, the Java community is almost TOO big. Its full of good ideas, good startpoints and lots of clever people doing their 'thing'. Unfortunately I did find that it lacks coordination and too much software is re-inventing wheels, or just never really gets finished.\" -- Simon Millward\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Many people who loved Lord of the Rings made an extra effort to tell me they weren't fanboys or fangirls. No, not yet, but this movie is a gateway drug. Within a couple years you'll be reenacting scenes with pewter figurines, drinking Mountain Dew and joining your friends' when they quote dialog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This movie is to fantasy what the Watch Tower is to Jehovah's Witnesses.\" -- the Filthy Critic\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Those that can't do, teach Those that can't teach, hire\" -- s0ckmo0nk3y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I clearly have no useful comments, but as people around here know, I like watching myself type. That's why I've replaced my laptop screen with a mirror. Makes it hell to know what I've typed, which may be why things end up the way they do sometimes.\" -- GregH\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"In the old days, accidentally introducing an O(N**2) (or worse) algorithm into your code would be something you'd notice immediately. But nowadays, machines are so bloody fast that this can be easily overlooked.\" -- Ben Haller\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"at some point life comes down to \"who would I rather spend an evening at a party with\". As much as I may abhor Walker's politics, I'd bet at least he's got interesting stories. I mean, heck, I've had interesting party conversation with socialists, and they've got similar agendas about oppression and conformance. Anyone trying to scam Xanax is just taking up space. As users of recreational drugs go, I'd rather hang out with meth-heads.\" -- Dan Lyke\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"So, to place your orders for this unique hairy animal, send $19.95 plus all your base to I_want_to_have_got_a_monkeybot@wplug.org, and we'll ship your Monkeybot out the same day we receive your order!\" -- evanD\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"One of the things that really bothers me about the comments is how many of the people attended one meeting, just to be scared off by the regulars, who are either unfriendly to newbies, or just scary in their geekiness. I think that our LUG suffers from this at times.\" -- billings\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The flight itself was uneventful except when the man sitting next to me yanked off his prosthetic leg, waved it in the air and announced 'Who needs legroom!'\" -- grand rapper E-D\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i'm actually a really nice and normal person, but i'm like a magnet for filth and depravity. -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"In the true spirit of open source software, the documentation is not very helpful\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"i'm coming to realize that programming would be really fun if it wasn't for customers\" -- Vinod\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Beer is just liquid bread - lasts longer without rotting, a great way to preserve grain for future consumption.\" -- dhogaza\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"The Tolkien names have too much of an association with bearded, trench-coat-wearing, renaissanse-faire attending, bastard-operator-from-hell system administrators to be good choices. (no offense to the members of the community into Dungeons and Dragons and brewing your own mead)\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.\" --Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Dogs, free Diet Coke, and lots and lots of women...\" -- gregh\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Hopefully, I'm sleeping. You can leave an aim for me ... or drop me mail. If this is a emergency, somebody else can probably help you.\" -- Chunks\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"You've misinterpreted our apathy and laziness for dislike.\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"A herd of cats is hard to push into a voting booth.\" -- jo2y\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Anywho, wplug is really a monarchy anyways, with monkeybot on the throne.\" -- zman\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"4 months of japanese and you will be laughing at the pussies struggling with french...\" -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"scsi is not magic. there are *fundamental technical reasons* why you have to sacrifice a young goat to your scsi chain every now and then\" -- BitPoet\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"i think MIT is _special_, because they get people who applied to harvard, but didn't have the social skills.\" -- docwolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "X\"[In Japanese] the words for \"cute\" and \"scary looking\" are 1/2 of a vowel apart. so if some girl shows you her new haircut and you say \"kowaii!\" instead of \"kawaii!\" she will start to cry.\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"in general, you should always explore career paths like 'rock star' or 'professional basketball player' before worrying about finding a cool tech job\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Marketing, shmarketing. I say, bash away on java as much as possible. I dont know exactly what problems people are having pushing openacs to clients, but I have found that getting the initial project spec, taking it home, and coming back with their project 60% completed in two days is a lot stronger marketing tactic than saying 'well yes, it will take 6 months to build you a bulletin board, but your system will have an object-relational persistance layer and full J2EE compliance.'\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"note, it isn't impossible to use a database as the backend to a standard webmail system...in fact, AOL stores all of its user mail in sybase. it comes in handy when you need to find out which of your users are using dirty words like 'breast' and 'pants.'\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = " \"i fear, [Prince] is going to end up a more sorry spectacle than james brown\" -- Rzolf -\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?\" -- Victor Borge\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Have any of you ever read the comments on a popular site like f---ed company or slashdot? 90%+ of the postings should make you embarrassed to be a member of the human race. Even on GOOD community sites like photo.net, about 80% of the postings are disposable. Do you really want to reliably preserve thousands of \"me first\" and \"mr stinky finger\" posts for the rest of eternity? Everyone should encourage the use of unstable architectures for typical crummy community sites. A server crash on one of these sites has the potential to wipe out hard evidence that the internet world of the late 90s and early 2000s was populated mainly by immature, racist, homophobic sociopaths. The use of MySQL should be encouraged, for your children's sake.\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"so if you've ever used C, Java, or Perl. PHP will be familiar because it combines the worst of each language. But none of the powerful parts. It looks a lot like cold fusion. -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"if you want to program in C++ oop style...just be a man and use C++\" -- Rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"[Note - and on the subject of corrections, an earlier note of mine mentioned that the cast had \"resigned\" for the next season of DSN. It should have read \"re-signed\". My thanks to all of you who took the time to drop me a note, mocking my mistake - ed.]\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Internet chat is one of satan's tools, contributing to the global lobotimization of youth even more so that USENET, and providing future rehabilitative surgeons a financial bonanza of carpal tunnel, lower back, and neck disorders.\"  -- rzolf\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Tcl is really Scheme with most of its brain removed\" -- Philip Greenspun\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"In practice, humans are lazy, sloppy, and easily distracted by more interesting projects\" -- Philip Greenspun\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Food: Any kind of flake food will do just fine, though some fish fanciers suggest buying some brine fish treats too, for variery. Honestly, I can't taste the difference at all.\" -- Andy Ihnatko, \"The Original Macquarium\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Here's the cycle: In the south, you have learning, culture, a lifestyle of grace. Principles such as honor, courage, duty, and state's rights are considered important. In short, you have civilisation. In the north, you have teeming masses of barbarians, undeducated, violent, hardy, and brutal. What happens? Inevitably, the northern barbarians come sweeping through the south, destroying civilisation as they go. You can see this happen to one focal point of western civilisation after another. The Huns and Visigoths did it to Rome. The Spartans did it to Athens. And the 'yankees did it to Richmond.\" -- Olin Shivers\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"If you go to Bri'ga'Dun, you will Die\" -- O'Kosh\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"llamas aren't aggressive enough for a bass player\" -- Emily Bentgen\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"Time for Tubby bye bye! Time for Tubby bye bye!\"\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"JavaScript use is very highly correlated with lack of anything interesting\" -- Dan Lyke\n";
Qotd[i++] = "\"note: the editorial content of Shutterbug [magazine] is below even the standard of USENET, so confine yourself to the ads\" -- Philip Greenspun\n";